A firestorm has started on social media after former NY mayor Rudeass Ghouliani stated 90% of African American murders are black on black crime. Many activist groups are crying racism, pointing to the fact Ghouliani overlooked the numbers on other races, particularly whites, who have an 80% white on white murder rate. The activists also point out that amid the white on white murder rate a disproportionate number of the victims are women. This leads some to ask if black on black crime is a problem that needs to be addressed why is the white man on white women crime spree not being given much needed attention?

A prominent social media analyst, however, has a different take on the situation. White America sucks at math, particularly statistics. The theory seems to be gaining support from many angles as it is common knowledge Americans in general suck at math. The analyst also points to certain SCOTUS rulings that led prominent Judge Arteneo Sclorosis to declare racism dead. Given that this has been unequivocally declared a post racial nation the only reasonable conclusion we can make to explain such ignorant and one sided commentary is simple sub-par arithmetic skills.

The theory is lent more credence when you consider the recent slide backwards in science performance as well. Certain critics of the theory point out that cops aren’t exactly doing multiplication tables when they choose to shoot unarmed men with their backs turned. Nor are judges working out algebra equations as they sentence men of color to disproportionately long prison terms in relation to their white counterparts when convicted of the same crimes.

Obviously those claims are part of a global conspiracy to enact white slavery with a third Obama term and gun confiscation. That seems far fetched to some at this point but given the alternative facts here it’s the only likely explanation. America is bad at math but fantastic at storytelling.  But most importantly definitely not racist. Sidenote: Anyone know a black reporter that can hook me up with her friends at the congressional black caucus?